Thirty Workouts
The House of Pain
Feb 5, 2008
Jerked Metal Bars
Punched Heavy Bags
Pumped Iron
Snapped Push-ups
Mel, my trainer, said, “You're doing good. Take some water and a
minute.” I said, “I'm not thirsty, and I don't need a minute, bro, so bring it
on, bitch.”
“Who you calling a bitch?”
Don't call your trainer a bitch.
He handed me the 30-pound dumbbells and ordered me to bicep curl
them 20 times. I got close to the mirror. Not only did I want to feel the
pain, I needed to see it straight up. Then the bitch gave me more weight
and told me to do squats, and then more weights and more push-ups.
I took the pain and I let out by daring Mel to give me more. He raised an
eyebrow and got out the medicine ball and threw at my gut, and I had to
squat down with it and chuck it back at him with all my might. Each
return shot was coated with a primordial grunt and a coating of sweat,
but I was going down like a little bitch. Not tonight, not on number 30.
Mel was impressed that I gave back everything twice as hard as it was
given to me.
Sweat and insults poured in unison. Then the gloves went on, and I hit
Mel's hand pads 20 times in a row. He told me that I have heavy hands. I
said, “Goddamn right, motherfucker.
We worked out. Man, did we fucking work out. Number 30 was a real
fucking workout.
© 2008 by Michael Domino